Life has been a little crazy and uncertain lately. I’ve found myself rather short on patience and feeling a little burned out with motherhood, and all the demands it makes on my time and energy. And it seems that in the stressful times, when I need to pray more, I tend to let my prayer life slip. So a few years ago, I decided to incorporate it into the home school day. Every weekday, from 10:15 to 10:45, I give the kids a “recess,” during which I hide myself away in my room for some time of Bible study, prayer and reflection.
The other day, after only an hour of trying to get school work done with the kids, I was at my wit’s end, and not feeling real positive about my vocation, to say the least. So I fled to my room for my quiet time, really needing to get myself together. I pulled my favorite prayer books out of the big bag I keep them in, and suddenly felt something else in the bottom. I dumped the bag, and there amongst my books I found a little plastic knight and a matchbox car. Now what’s wrong with that picture?
And the answer to that question is . . . nothing! First, I laughed, and thought, “Sure, I can flee to my room, but I still can’t escape!” Even when my kids aren’t with me, their footprints are all over my life! And someday I am going to miss stepping on toy soldiers in the middle of the night, or pulling random objects out of my purse. Even prayer time isn’t “sacred.” Even then, they are there. And that’s because as soon as I became a mother, they became part of me, and now God uses matchbox cars to teach me lessons. I can run, but I can’t hide from my vocation, and that’s just the point. That’s my road to holiness. And every little crisis in my life as a mom is another opportunity to grow. Hmmm, maybe that’s why God blessed me with so many children! He must have known just how much growing I had to do!